Dysfunctional Families Essay

The margin impaired Family to me means (very basically) a family that is impaired in its functioning, further exempt operates as a family, with the inherent love underneath all the neuroses and ab modal(prenominal)ities.Dysfunctional families seem to hand become the norm I believe. Part of the mind for this seems to be that many adult electric shaverren ar educators or counselors (adult children is the call for adults who be still functioning based on about of their childhood traumatic events). These adult children have evolved at a very high train intellectually but emotionally still carry unhealed wounds from their confess childhood traumas.We should hear that dysfunctional families occur for many reasons. A family back become dysfunctional if any compulsive behaviour is present, mental illness, fit(p) rules, religiosity and any situation where the go forther circumstances seek subdue rather than facilitate the emergence of a stiff inner smell of ego, persona l power, and life skill bringment. Emotional and verbal abuse atomic number 18 extremely destructive to ones sense of ego. The wounds for both atomic number 18 difficult to make real. Emotional abuse is less recognized, less understood, and more(prenominal) difficult to overcome.Dysfunctional families atomic number 18 universal. Addiction treatment professionals suggest 80-95 percentage of families are dysfunctional to some degree. If the norm is dysfunctional, then what attributes describe a functional family? A functional family provides children with a safe and nurturing environment, supports learning during the several(predicate) developmental stages, affirms the childs worth and nurtures a sense of self confidence and autonomy.Those of us who grew up in a dysfunctional family or who were neglected or abused in different ways are disenfranchised in our grief. Our losses in childhood have not been honored they have been disregarded. As children from dysfunctional familie s, we have disowned our true self we did so to survive.I think that some children may even have a defunct family (one that was completely non-existing and dead). I wonder if defunctional family is a term ever usedif not, it should be.Rules of the dysfunctional familyWhile all families have rules, dysfunctional families have rigid rules which are often unspoken and un effectual. These often accommodateDont talk (about what is really going on).Dont trust anyone (but yourself).Dont feel or have involve (because there is no one available to validate or react to you).Deny there is a problem.Roles of a dysfunctional familyFamily utilizations create additional strengths in children from dysfunctional families but also hide the scars these children develop. These roles lead to patterns of behavior which plunder be problematic and difficult to let go in adulthood. These roles includeThe trusty child or caretaker attempts to maintain peace by assuming responsibility for the ask of th eir siblings and their parents.The family hero is helpful within the family and boffo outside of the family.The enabler enables the alcoholic to continue drinking by covering up her or his deterioration.The scapegoat diverts attention from the real family problems by acting outand engaging in self-destructive behavior. They often act out the accent in the family.The clown reduces the familys tension with humor.The lost child the child who copes by making as few waves as possible, their goal is to make it as little attention as possible.Growing up in a dysfunctional family can have a significant violation on adult functioning. Adults struggle with the following issuesDifficulty knowing what is normal, in part due to the absence of adequate adult role models.A tendency to be extremely self-critical as a resolution of having internalized frequent parental criticisms.In response to living with unpredictability, a strong need for control.Difficulty with intimate relationships du e in part to inapposite parental affection.Problems recognizing and expressing feelings.May confuse feelings or allow only true feelings (sadness but not exasperation anger, but not sadness).Difficulty expressing needs because they have lost touch with their own needs or are fearful of burdening others.An exaggerated sense of responsibility.Counter-productive perfectionism.A tendency to engage in all or nothing thinking and feeling.Having become accustomed in childhood to crises, feeling anxious when life seems like it is going okay.A tendency to be hyper-vigilant (keep their eye on everything, always worried).Fear of anger (their own and others).In response to parental abandonment or neglect, they develop the belief that they are not good enough, significant or lovable, and in the absence of a good enough sense of self are prone to feelings of shame and inadequacy.Difficulty being spontaneous and having fun.Those who did grow up in a dysfunctional family can also develop some un ique strengths. These includeIncreased ability to be empathic to understand and care about othersHeightened sensitivity & awareness.Tendency to take less for granted.Maturity, competence and the ability to solve problems and take charge.Greater commitment to having a healthy family and raising children with caring and compassion.Is my family dysfunctional?My family may not be dysfunctional, but I think the lifestyle and personality of my immediate family are responsible in many ways for my shyness. To put it simply, my parents are very mollify people. They dont have, and never have had, a wide rotary converter of friends, and they virtually never go out (apart fromthe obvious, like shopping, eating, going to church service and that). Because they were my role models during the early part of my life, I think I probably had trouble cocking with the other kids, (simply because I never saw them mix with other people) and this has kind of stuck with me throughout life. Not that I would say this relegate of stuff to their face, because they are my folks and I love them dearly. I can only say that Im glad I had the opportunity to move away from home, as I think its better my life beyond all recognition.